At this point in my life, I'm not the woman I need to be in order to be a part of a God-honoring relationship. I'm in a place where my hurt will only bring me down, and in order for me to rise out of the muck, I need to have goals.
So here are my non-negotiables for ANY future relationships IN WRITING so that I can be held accountable and hold myself accountable to these:
For my partner:
- loves and seeks after Christ
- committed to doing so in an authentic way
- strong enough to make decisions that include me
- considers me in their actions
- excited to be with me
- affirms their feelings both emotionally and physically
- open, honest, and forthcoming with emotions and thoughts
- wants to be a part of my life
- wants me to be a part of his
- involved in healthy community
- committed to doing what is right no matter the consequences
- confronts issues as they arise
For me:
- seeks the Lord daily in decisions and for guidance
- passionate about pursuing Christ's love and living it out
- supportive first
- loving always
- challenges to help him reach his potential--not just for the sake of challenging him
- affectionate
- dependable
- selfless --takes him into consideration in all decisions
- confident and trusting
- involved in healthy community
- seeking guidance from trusted examples
1 comment:
Hey Lydia, I hope you are doing well. I appreciate what you have done here. It is nice to see people laying down the negotiables and non-negotiables when it comes to the whole relationship phenomena.
I will pray that in His timing, God will give you a "man" that will fully incarnate the desires of your heart, and that will embody the list you have laid out. Somewhere, God has a man that is looking for you...and he will find you(blessed is the man that finds a wife).
You were created for Romance. ALl of us were created for Romance.
The way I am picturing the waiting process--as a woman waiting to be found by a man (I really hope that doesn't sound too malish) is similar to the way the church/bride has been waiting on the second coming of Christ. WE await his coming with anticipation, joy, excitment, and holy fantasy. While the coming is prolonged our hunger is simply made deeper, and wider, and more specific.
Perhaps what God is doing in your life right now is simply widening, and deepening your ability to love. And as the waiting continues so your desire to love intensifies and becomes more specific.
I could be talking out of my back pocket here so please forgive me if I said too much. My point is that your desire is godly and has a promise of coming to fruition.
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