a bump in the road...

Last week, Peace Corps informed me that I wouldn't be able to be medically cleared until almost April 2008. This puts a significantly large kink in my plans. I was supposed to leave in June 08, but now, it may be as late as September...possibly even later.

This shouldn't be a big deal, but it changes things. Because of a later departure, the region I will go to might change from Latin American to somewhere else.

This is no bueno.

Initially, I wanted to join Peace Corps to kill two birds with one stone: serve and speak fluent Spanish.

I changed my mind about 6 months ago and decided that my priority was to serve, so I'd join Peace Corps and go wherever they sent me. I was confident in God's plan that He'd send me where I was supposed to go.

Now, I'm getting some mixed signals from the Big Man. My goals really are to serve and speak Spanish, and that's what I need to pursue. I asked God to place a huge obstacle in front of me if Peace Corps isn't what I should be doing.

So far, this is the 2nd "minor" obstacle. Not huge, but still there.

There are people I care about in this country, and there are significant and important relationships that would unavoidably be impacted if I left for two years. And now, I may not even get to go to a Spanish-speaking country.

I'm still convinced that God has a plan, but now, it's a waiting game. This whole process is a waiting game. I've decided (here's hoping a PC rep doesn't read this) that I won't accept a position anywhere other than a Spanish-speaking program. From there, who knows what I'll do, but I know that if I spend two years of my life doing anything, I'd want it to be in line with what I could do after those two years--and that means Spanish fluency.

I have a few things I love right now, and those are the things I want to pursue and protect.

honest to goodness...

I've decided it is the most liberating thing to be a part of a relationship where you can be entirely honest, where there is no fear in saying what you mean when you mean it.

This is a rare thing, and it is even more beautiful when it comes natural in a relationship.

The ability for two people (although I'm convinced that it is completely due to the blessing and work of the Lord) to be so comfortable with each other and so confident in the bond tying them together is a remarkable thing.

Burdens are lifted. Histories are eliminated.

I'm a part of a few of these relationships this semester. Not only were they surprising to me, but they have really made these last few months some of the best months of my college experience.

I am so grateful.

falling into fall...

I've always thought that October is the best month of the year.

So far, this October is blowing every other month out of the water.

And it looks like things can only go up from here.

relax

This weekend, I went to Florida to play in the UPA Regionals Ultimate Tournament with a team from the Rio Grande Valley. On my way home, I met a girl my age who had been in the Army for 1. 5 years. She's married to a man who is also in the Army, and her brother is being deployed next month for Iraq.

In the next six months, she will be deployed to Iraq for 18 months. That is only 9 months less than my stint with the Peace Corps. Reality check. People leave the people they love for this amount of time a lot more than I think.

I'm not the only one.

I tend to make things into bigger deals than they actually are. My goal for this season is to relax--to enjoy what life brings me and not overthink it to death. I won't let my brain ruin the good things that are happening in my life right now, and there are some really good things happening in my life right now.

on bubbles...

I love bubbles.

I'm tempted to begin this anecdote with "as a child..." but that would be misleading. I'm pretty sure that my love for bubbles developed closer to my late childhood, early teenage years, with a surge of growth in my twenties. I absolutely love bubbles.

In life, I've come to believe there are four types of people. There are people who blow the bubbles only to pop them immediately; there are people who blow the bubbles who then try and eat them; there are people who scavenge and try to save the bubble by catching it on the wand; and then there are people who blow the bubbles and allow the bubbles to last.

The people who pop them immediately are over-zealous, sometimes impatient. They get the job done quickly, but the results are sometimes inconsistent.

The people who eat the bubbles are ambitious, hungry. They go for what they want and eat up every moment like it's their last--with no regard for success or failure or potential tummy aches.

The people who catch the bubbles are the people who want to make every moment last for a lifetime. Sometimes they catch the right bubble, and the right moment lasts forever, but sometimes they miss the bigger, better bubble that was a few feet away.

Then there are people like me--the ones who watch the bubbles as they float through the air, graze an object, and burst according to its destiny. Some last for a long time, some don't. These are the people who either really appreciate life for what it is--or they over-think life until it dies according to its natural course.

Right now, I'm watching that bubble fall, and it looks like I have four options:

1) eat it up

2) pop it

3) catch it

4) or watch it fall, never really deciding what to do until it's too late

..what to do. what. to. do.